The Longest Farewell

Akong's obituary in The Star newspaper. Note all the names of different races in here.



Chinese newspaper.

On Friday morning at 5am, my kei-kong (god-grandfather) passed away. He was 93 years old.

He was the healthiest man alive in our neighbourhood, and yet he left us when we least expected it. Nobody knew HOW he had gone, but since he was asleep that time, we are happy that he need not undergo any suffering before his last moments.

My biggest regret was thinking that his birthday this year would be the same as any one throughout his lifetime. Instead I went to Bon Odori to have a good time.

I never knew that that would be his last birthday. And that was my deepest sorrow.

We threw him a very grand funeral - Full Taoist funeral with the burning of the 'kong-teik' and 'siew tu bak' offerings. Akong came back, during the early mornings of his wake.

There were many firsts for me during this funeral. It's the first time I experienced such a grand funeral and also the first time I held a Japanese's guy's hand (some of my akong's grandchildren are Japanese) - surprisingly I was too sad to be happy.

The last day of his funeral (the 'chut-sua' part) (today) was a most painful experience. Imagine having to call out to your dad (my aunt had to do this) several times without crying. She failed miserably and she cried like there was no tomorrow. Us spectators cried just watching the scene, what more the person doing it?

It was sadder still when they were going to close his casket, cos we hired a band of musicians to play music that surely stings your eyes.


Prayers after closing his casket.

A band of musicians playing the saddest songs.

And when we trailed his coffin to give him his last ride in the mortal world, we cried even more. Worse still when he had to go into the incinerator.
Us giving him his last ride in this world.

Akong has managed to pull his whole multiracial and multicultural family together in life and in death. Despite being Thai, Japanese, Malay, Eurasian, Indian or just plain Chinese - everyone in the family has been reunited.

His Japanese grandchildren, Yuji and Miyoko.

My koko's Thai girlfriend together with relatives of different backgrounds.

We will never forget him even in death.

I will now have to cope without seeing his smiles after school, without calling his name before meals, or without listening to his ramblings about his beloved country China, or without exchanging comments about sports. He will no longer be there to force me to study harder and harder or to feign deafness when we talk occassionally.

Thank you for being with us and we wish you all the happiness the world has to offer in your afterlife.