Heaven Sent

There has been ups and downs in life but I discovered the one thing that makes living on Earth so real and unforgettable. I found love.

I first found love in Him, the Sovereign God, in Jesus as he died on the cross to save each and everyone of us, long before we were even born. He has cleansed our sins and made us pure so that we may ascend to the Heavens to live in joy with Him. He is love itself.

I was blessed to have found love in relationships. Not only love from parents, but also love from someone of the opposite sex who would have won the world for me once. But things fell apart as we both took each other for granted. In the midst of my despair, my wonderful friend Huiying backed me up in everything my insane heart drove me to do. She was my sidekick who would go through thick and thin for me. And I love her infinitely - because she was the only one who could understand the raw pain that stabs me in the chest and stings my eyes second after second.

I thought I could pretend that I have moved on by banning myself from speaking about it in front of my friends. Truth is, I missed him like hell.

I thought I would hate him for all of my life and would never forgive him for what he did. Truth is, I loved him so much it was almost impossible to hate. The irony of it was that I overflowed with concern for his well-being. Something he probably wouldn't know. :)

But then I gained strength, courage and wisdom today. From there I learnt it was important to give and take. To love someone means so many things. So many things that demand so much from you.

To love one, you must prepare to get hurt. To love one, you must be prepared to give. To love one, you must trust with all of your heart. And most importantly, loving means continually giving out without expecting anything  in return. The anticipation of receiving means that one does not fully understand what it is like to love. To love, you can continually pour your emotions out - without receiving anything in return. That, is true love.

I would change my ways for the better. I only hope he will do the same. Love makes us vulnerable -but with all the hurt it caused, it also makes us stronger.

Communication is the key to success. Please don't think of talking to one another as giving the other false hope - because talking is a way of tying loose ends. And eventually, and understanding can be reached so that one can continue to move on. And no, it is absolutely unfair to leave loose ends hanging. Because it'll be so distracting that neither one of them involved are able to move on. So please, TALK.

The three stages to moving on is preposterous. There's no way you can hate someone you love so much. It all boils down to just wanting that person's company. The only way to move on is to reach a mutual understanding by communicating - and then letting time take on its role and heal.

Loving also means being ready to hurt yourself by letting go. If you want that person just all to yourself, that's called being possessive. Being selfish doesn't help. Wanting one all to yourself is a sign of obsession, not love.

And if you want relationships to last, you need to work on every single stage of a relationship. Starting from being friends, to dating to partners. Skipping the friend-zone causes a lack of understanding and a forward boost to a lusty relationship and not one of true love.

I only wish that whatever promises made would be kept. Or else it would be like stepping on shattered glass. Trust and respect would be broken too.

True love. I think I found mine. Probably the right person, but the wrong timing. But we need to let time run its course. Because loving one also means you would spend an eternity waiting for him.

Thank You, Lord. For constantly blessing me abundantly with perpetual comfort and love.

I grew up today. Did you?